You have to say goodbye if you want to say hello

My heartstrings are being torn every which way to the point my heart feels it must burst. I prefer to think that it won’t burst; that instead, it will stretch, growing larger so it can contain all the sentiments it feels. It is a painful process to love until it hurts, but worth it. I’m not looking forward to leaving. While Nîmes may not be my favorite city in the world, I have been lucky enough to make friends and to make a life for myself here. I have touched lives and countless others have touched my life. I have loved being an English teaching assistant. I have grown comfortable in this little city and this corner of the world. I am returning to the states in two weeks. Part of my heart does want to go back. Part of it wants to stay in France. Part of it wants to live and to love in other parts of the world.

It’s hard to say goodbye. In talking to a friend about l’Auberge espagnole, he repeated the sentiment of the film that you cry when you leave, and you cry when you come back. It’s not false. We leave all we love and know at home, and then when we leave anew, we must repeat the process again. I always remind myself that if you want to say hello, you have to say goodbye. So, goodbye, goodbye, you have to say goodbye if you want to say hello. Here’s to all the new experiences and new loves to come!

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PS: I’m sorry for my prolonged absence from the blogosphere. I’ve been very busy the last few weeks and I will very seldom be in Nîmes between now and the time I get on my plane that’s bound for the USA. Camille was here to visit me for Easter, my last week of teaching was a whirlwind, I just got back from Toulouse to help Dawn move for her internship, I’m leaving for Germany to see Marine who is an au pair there, then finally I go to Taizé before crossing the Atlantic. I wouldn’t necessarily suggest to future assistants to overpack your schedule before you leave like I have…

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About Quiche Lauren

A blog by an English teaching assistant in Nîmes (Académie de Montpellier) through the TAPIF program.
This entry was posted in Assimilation, Nîmes, TAPIF, teach abroad, Travel, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to You have to say goodbye if you want to say hello

  1. Morata Chris says:

    Have a safe trip back home Lauren. I miss you already. Please give us some news when you’re home. I wish you the best future as possible. Take care.

    • Thanks, Christiane! I miss you and the rest of the English team (and my students!) already as well. Wishing you all the best too, and I will definitely stay in touch : ) Thank you so much for such a wonderful farewell!!

  2. Dounia says:

    Enjoy your last weeks and best of luck for the return! I completely understand being torn between wanting to stay and go, and the feeling of your heart bursting. But like you said, you have to say goodbye to say hello 🙂 Have fun with your last whirlwind weeks and have a safe trip back! Will you be heading back to CT or somewhere else in the States?

    • Thanks, Dounia! Glad someone understands how I feel! 🙂 I will be heading back to CT at least for a little while before moving to DC where I will begin a Master’s in International Education.

  3. andrea says:

    Lauren: Your words have tugged at my heart. Yes, you were very BLESSED not Lucky to be able to spend part of your life in another world and visit so many places! Just remember you aren’t leaving but coming HOME to people who love and adore you. I feel some day you will be back to show off your youth’s memories ~ maybe next time with your husband and children. Remember you still have your whole life ahead of you and that is something to look forward to.
    Where are you going in Germany?? If possible try to do the Rhine River cruise it’s only a few hour trip and it wld be well worth it.

    Can’t wait to see you and hear all about your wonderful experience. Safe trip home!! I know your parents will be thrilled!! ❤ Andrea

    • I am blessed to have been able to see so much of the world, but the US is no longer the only place I’ve known as home and not the only place where there are people I love and who love me. I hope to live in more of the world in order to understand more cultures, more people, and communicate in more languages. I am excited to see what the rest of my life will bring and excited to see you again.

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