My heartstrings are being torn every which way to the point my heart feels it must burst. I prefer to think that it won’t burst; that instead, it will stretch, growing larger so it can contain all the sentiments it feels. It is a painful process to love until it hurts, but worth it. I’m not looking forward to leaving. While Nîmes may not be my favorite city in the world, I have been lucky enough to make friends and to make a life for myself here. I have touched lives and countless others have touched my life. I have loved being an English teaching assistant. I have grown comfortable in this little city and this corner of the world. I am returning to the states in two weeks. Part of my heart does want to go back. Part of it wants to stay in France. Part of it wants to live and to love in other parts of the world.
It’s hard to say goodbye. In talking to a friend about l’Auberge espagnole, he repeated the sentiment of the film that you cry when you leave, and you cry when you come back. It’s not false. We leave all we love and know at home, and then when we leave anew, we must repeat the process again. I always remind myself that if you want to say hello, you have to say goodbye. So, goodbye, goodbye, you have to say goodbye if you want to say hello. Here’s to all the new experiences and new loves to come!
PS: I’m sorry for my prolonged absence from the blogosphere. I’ve been very busy the last few weeks and I will very seldom be in Nîmes between now and the time I get on my plane that’s bound for the USA. Camille was here to visit me for Easter, my last week of teaching was a whirlwind, I just got back from Toulouse to help Dawn move for her internship, I’m leaving for Germany to see Marine who is an au pair there, then finally I go to Taizé before crossing the Atlantic. I wouldn’t necessarily suggest to future assistants to overpack your schedule before you leave like I have…